Food Addiction

So I just read a very interesting article on line and I recognized myself in the descriptions in the article.  I have known for a while that I have an addiction to food but today I am going to beat this addiction.  I have made a list of all the trigger foods and how they make me feel when I consume them.  it isn't something I need to avoid temporarily, I need to avoid them forever.  I can't give in and have even one bite.  As soon as I do that it releases something in my brain and makes me crave it even more and then the binging happens and I want to stop this.  I am miserable in so many ways when I give in to my addiction.

I know what to do it is just a matter of putting on my big girl pants and just doing it.  I want to beat this addiction and reap the  rewards of doing that.  It is going to be hard when I go down east but it isn't something I can put on hold any longer.  The weight keeps piling on and I keep feeling worse and worse (mentally and physically).  Each day that I am successful with this the stronger I will get to avoid my trigger foods.  It is such a huge step but I am jumping in with both feet and no looking back.  I will take it each day at a time.

Instead of buying a journal I will document how I do on my blog.  I will write my entry at the end of each day which will include what I ate, what I did and how I feel.  I also need to avoid spending so much time on my computer :(   that is a huge problem too.

Well I must go and get ready for my day…going to go to the mall and get a few things and maybe I will look for something to indicate how many days I have been "clean".

Here is to a rewarding journey :)

Get Back on the Wagon

Wow, the first few months of the year were so good.  I was eating healthy and getting a lot of physical activity and I was feeling great.  Then I fell flat on my face and have not been able to get back up.  Mind you I have tried but have not been able too.  I know that it really hurts my family when I am not making healthy choices and after how I have felt the last couple of days I need to put a stop to the unhealthy choices.  I need to get it through my head that it will take time and I just need to take it one day at a time.  The rewards of having a healthy lifestyle are so numerous that I need to do this….for me and for my family.

I am now wishing I had gone to bootcamp today but 2/3 days won't be a bad thing.  I will make sure sunday and monday I am there and work my butt off.  I will be able to go on saturday too (just the way my schedule goes).  I need to start running again too.  When I am not doing bootcamp I need to work on getting my running back too.  It will be tough at first but if I just stick it out I know it will become routine again.  STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!!!!

Today I am going to be working on purging our room and getting it ready for the new furniture to come.  I will be getting rid of some clothes and then packing away the clothes that I am not wearing right now.  I will be throwing some stuff out too that I haven't been wearing in a long time.  I know it will feel good when our room is finally done.  It has been a long time coming.

Tomorrow will be meal prep day and I should really try and get all my meals done for the week.  I want to feel productive on my days off.  Time is just flying by and I need to stop wasting the precious time I have and use it to make myself a better person so I stop wishing for stuff and actually feel accomplished :)

Here is to a good and productive days off!!!!

Struggles

I feel like I have totally fallen into the habits that I had last year and it is making me feel so awful both mentally and physically.  I need to pull up my socks and get back to eating healthy and exercising daily.  I know what I have to do I just need to be strong and do it.  I need to be done with putting it off.  If I keep putting it off all that hard work I did for a few months will my undone and I sure don't want that.  Today marks 8 weeks til we leave to go for boots and hearts and I so want to be in the 140's when we go away.  Tomorrow I am having a party for someone but that does not mean that I have to be totally off track.  I am sure there will be healthy choices and I need to make them.  Everyday I don't have things planned I need to be 100% on track and then when I have events 80% on track.  I do have a lot planned for the summer months so I need to be so careful.

I did go for a 3K run this morning which is a good start.  Tomorrow I need to get up early so I can try to get a 5-6K run in before the party.

Back to being healthy or I am worried I will have a miserable summer!!

June Challenge

Nothing like helping get back on track then a challenge :)  yesterday was a bit rough for me…adjusting to life with a new puppy but I am feeling much better today and am ready to kick ass with this challenge.

I am going to really focus on planning my menus and just eating what I have written down.  I always have enough food so why would I need extra food???  I am pretty sure it will take me a good 3 weeks to get rid of any cravings.  I feel like may was not a good month at all when it came to eating but I really want to work on getting the healthy focus back.

I went for a 4K run today and it felt great.  I had gone 3 days with no running and I really missed it and could tell by my mood that I hadn't exercised for a bit.  I ordered the body beast program from beach body and I am very curious to how it is.  It wasn't crazy expensive so I thought I would give it a try.  I love the muscle that I have built and want more.  I just need to make sure I follow my training for my half marathon too.  I may not be able to really do a 100% job on the body beast til the fall but we will see how it goes.  I think the workouts are only for 30 min which really is not that bad at all.

Well wish me luck for getting back on track and kicking some ass with this challenge.

Here I go….

I had all intentions of jumping back on the wagon yesterday but after supper I fell flat on my face mid jump.  Picking myself up and dusting off today.  I am trying a new approach which is the fact that in 16 weeks I will be doing my 8th half marathon and if I have any hopes of having a PR I need to eat healthy for the majority of those 16 weeks (few events will prevent me from eating at home but will try and make healthy choices).

I don't quite get why I am struggling again.  I was doing so well and then for the last couple of weeks it really has been a bit of a struggle.  I feel so off when I am not eating healthy so why would i want to make those choices???  Such an inner struggle and I feel like my little man is picking up on that.  I need to help him make better choices but try not to focus so much on what he eats or he will deal with the same disordered eating that I have and I wouldn't with that on anyone.

I went for a great walk today and will be making some meals for my 2 days at work.  I need to get back on track with planning my weekly menu's and doing meal prep.  I have said it so many times that it really is key for me to do that.

Well I am going to enjoy the rest of today and will stay on track.  Each day that I do the better I feel.

Getting Back on tracK...

I fell off the wagon hard the last couple of weeks but today I am dusting myself off and jumping right back on.  work has been stressful, not working out because I am so tired etc…all silly excuses and I am better then that and I am so glad that I went to Jills today.  I did the workout…all of it and it made me feel better.  I just need to get right back into the menu planning and meal prep and it will really help.  We have been having so much junk at work so I just need to avoid it.

I am hoping to get an 8k run done tomorrow but not sure how my tummy will do.  I am hoping that if I am on track today (which I totally plan on doing) I will feel much more optimistic about getting it done.  Tomorrow is officially my first day  of training for my half marathon in september.  I am pretty sure it is #8  which is awesome.  I want to stick to the training plan almost 100% and it would be so nice to have a PR for this race (I think 2hrs and 4 min is the best time I have had but will have to check that out to make sure).

Well I have a bunch of cleaning to do so I should get going.  Have a great weekend!

a bit of a set back

So I had my first set back since January and I am slowly getting over the mental affect it had on me and was 100% on track yesterday and today I feel so much better for it.  My set over mother's day weekend was so busy and on mother's day we ordered out.  I should have stuck to my guns and just ate the food that I had bought for myself but I caved and it led to a push off the healthy wagon.  I went crazy with the snacks that came to work.  We had a bistro the next night and again I lost all self control.
I am telling myself that it is in the past and just start eating healthy again (which I did yesterday and somewhat the day before).  I need to keep remembering how great I feel now that I have been back on track.

Today started off great with a 3K run and an awesome 75 min workout at Jills.  It felt so great to be back with the girls and having a kick ass workout.  I also am going to be doing an 8 week accountability challenge with Jill which will hopefully help me get the remaining lbs off and reach the weight I want to be at (or at least be really close to it).  I have planned my menu up until next wednesday and after my appt at 1230 I will head to the grocery store to pick up the necessary supplies.
I also went to hot yoga last night and had a great sweat session.  Tonight I will go again and another class on saturday (hope to do a 7-8K run tomorrow morning too).  Being active makes me feel great so I need to take the time out of my daily schedule and do what I have planned.

Well I must get ready for the day (take a much needed shower) and have some lunch before I head out.
Have a great long weekend everyone.